i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
please don't ironically join a cult
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