You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
