alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
