I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
