please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
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