Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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