yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize