i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
