My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
