meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
