how can u be prego again
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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