my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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