The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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