OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
