Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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