what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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