i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
