So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
