No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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