i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
