all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just had sex on a roof
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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