dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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