everyone is single if you try hard enough
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
