Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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