my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Houston, we have a squirter
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
