While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
