You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
