But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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