period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
