hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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