help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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