Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
