we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
