Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
