butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
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This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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