I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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