if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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