he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
