to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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