Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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