It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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