Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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