ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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