I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
