hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
