God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Someone signed my nipple.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
