So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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