Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
