You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
