Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
