On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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