Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
