I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
