he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
