please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
