I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sorry about my life...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
