We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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