i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize