Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
