Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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