Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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