His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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