she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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