i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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