there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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